#6 Coastal Shoes

Real Clemsonites understand that Global Warming is melting the polar ice caps. This means that someday soon, Clemson will be on this country's coast. You can spot the Clemsonites who are prepared for this catastrophe by their footwear. Whether boat shoes or flip-flops, nearly every Clemsonite is ready for the day when Clemson will become a coastal town.*

Of course, there are many shades available in these shoes. But the true Clemsonite will only be wearing the earthy shade of "light-turd."** This is their way of paying homage to Clemson's rich agricultural history while readying themselves for inevitable beachside living.

*While most Clemsonites scoff at yuppy "Yankees," they secretly yearn for the day when they can have beachside bonfires and go sailing in the haaah bohhhr.
**Light-turd is also known as turkey-sh*t brown.

#5 The Natural Beauty of Clemson

It's no secret that the Clemson area, located at the foot of the Appalachian Mountains, offers an abundance of natural beauty. Clemsonites have the opportunity to explore trails, parks, and even the gorgeous South Carolina Botanical Garden. But perhaps the most lovely place in town, and the place where you'll find the most Clemsonites jogging and walking is highway 93. With it's picturesque gas stations and plethora of grocery stores- not to mention the sweet sounds and smells of a constant flow of cars- it's easy to see why this stretch of road is so appealing to Clemsonites.

#4 Safety First

It's true, some people throw caution to the wind when wearing sunglasses. But most Clemsonites know that safety comes first. Because they'd rather be safe than sorry, Clemsonites protect their sunglasses from unwittingly being lost by attaching them to "croakies." Croakies are colorful neoprene eyewear retainers. These 1980's style accessories come in especially handy when Clemsonites are on the raging waters of Lake Hartwell, Lake Keowee, or the reflection pond in front of the library.* After all, a giant wave could materialize and slap those specs right off your face, where they would be lost forever to the Loch Hartwell Monster- making you the loser. And it's much better to look like loser than to be a loser, right?

*It's important to note that croakies are a "must have" for Clemsonites in other situations as well- like riding in the bed of a pick-up truck. Safety first. Always. At least for your sunglasses.

#3 Neck Protection

All true Clemsonites are tigers. So, it makes sense that younger Clemsonites are just baby tiger cubs, waiting for that moment when Momma Cat comes by and grabs them by the scruff of their neck. It is easy to spot young Clemsonites that are prepared for the coming of great Momma Cat by the neck protection they sport. The easiest and most convenient neck protection is the infamous "popped collar."

Haters of the popped collar abound, but these folks just don't understand that it's not a fashion statement, it's the mark of a dedicated baby tiger cub, waiting for the rapture of the Momma Cat to take them to a better place.* Or, at least a place with booze.
*Incidentally, the 'popped collar' also serves as a convenient way to hide whether or not the Clemsonite's neck is red.

#2 Meemaw's Bags

Back in the late 1800's, Thomas Green Clemson founded the great university (and subsequently the town) that has spawned Clemsonites. What most non-Clemsonites don't know is that he was very devoted to his grandmother, Vera "Meemaw" Bradley. Meemaw's favorite thing to do at the Fort Hill plantation was to sew quilts into bags and purses for her daughter-in-law and granddaughter. Because Meemaw was so beloved by the Clemson family, no one had the heart to tell her that she was color blind. And her bags were ugly.

Today, truly dedicated female Clemsonites pay homage to ole Meemaw Bradley by carrying around quilted bags in a variety of loud colors, like she used to make. These bags have the added advantage of attracting male Clemsonites. After all, what guy doesn't want to date a girl that reminds him of someone's grandma?

#1 All Things Orange

It's no surprise that Clemsonites like orange. The color is, after all, the official national color of Clemson. But Clemsonites take their devotion to orange above and beyond a typical college fan. Sure all college sports teams have bumper stickers and t-shirts, maybe even a few foam fingers, but Clemsonites know that true dedication means having orange cars, orange houses, orange pets, and drinking orange beverages. The University of Florida may have invented Gatorade, but everyone knows that Clemson actually invented orange juice. It's also important to note Clemson is one of the only places on earth where you can get orange overalls in grown man sizes. Sure, you and I may have to buy them at a store downtown. But for the underprivileged, Clemson has started a program to distribute these garments for free at facilities throughout the country.

Orange apparel also has the added benefit of giving Clemsonites super powers. Because of their resemblance to traffic cones, Clemsonites confidently walk in front of on-coming traffic (especially on game days) with the assurance that cars will stop, just for them.