#9 Being Seen on Bowman Field

Clemsonites know that Bowman Field is the center of the universe. Bowman Field is ALWAYS green, even when covered in a layer of snow, it's still green. Why is Bowman Field eternally green? Well, legend has it that Floride Clemson, daughter of Thomas Green Clemson, thought she was the princess of a magical land. Sparkly green fairies came to visit Floride and she would follow them out into the night and do as they asked. One night, the fairies asked her to retrieve a special item from the cavern (located directly under where Bowman Field is today) of a hideous, sleeping monster with eyeballs in his hands. The monster was surrounded by a huge banquet table of the most delicious food Floride had ever seen, but she was not supposed to eat any of it, or the monster would awaken. Floride was a bit of a dolt, and a little selfish, so she ate the food. The monster woke up and smashed the fairies to bits. Floride escaped but the green fairy blood remained, all over the field. It is said that this fairy blood, combined with Floride's tears are what keep Bowman Field green to this day.*

True Clemsonites sense the magic of Bowman field and that is why it is the place where they most like to be seen (though TTT on a Wednesday night is a close second).

*It is actually the $1.2 billion that Clemson spends each year on Bowman Field that keeps it green- funded, of course, by parking tickets... because it's not like that money goes to creating more parking spaces.

#8 North Face

Thomas Green Clemson, founder of Clemson University- and by extension, Clemsonites, served in Confederate Army. Though he was originally from the great Yankee land of Philadelphia, Clemson thumbed his nose at his birthplace in support of the southern states. It is a little known fact that Clemson cared so much about his fellow soldiers that he would come up with creative ways to rally the troops. One Clemson classic was to have all the men drop trow and "face north!"

As you have probably already surmised, over the years, the "face north" full-mooning has been telephone-gamed into North Face. So, you'll be hard pressed to find a Clemsonite who is not sporting at least one North Face item in honor of that zany Thomas Green Clemson and his wacky war antics. The upside to this mistake of words is that the rugged North Face gear helps protect Clemsonites from the savage climate of the South Carolina upstate. With temperatures as low as 30-40s in the winter, no Clemsonite should be caught outdoors without North Face's patented ski gear.

#7 Tommy Bowden (he coaches football sometimes)

There isn't much Clemsonites like better than football. That said, head coach Tommy Bowden is the natural hero for most Clemsonites. His fearless leadership at the helm of the Tigers Football team is an inspiration to all. Fan sites praising Tommy Bowden abound on Facebook. In fact, Tommy Bowden is so revered at Clemson that he's even mentioned in Clemson's official promotional video!

#6 Coastal Shoes

Real Clemsonites understand that Global Warming is melting the polar ice caps. This means that someday soon, Clemson will be on this country's coast. You can spot the Clemsonites who are prepared for this catastrophe by their footwear. Whether boat shoes or flip-flops, nearly every Clemsonite is ready for the day when Clemson will become a coastal town.*

Of course, there are many shades available in these shoes. But the true Clemsonite will only be wearing the earthy shade of "light-turd."** This is their way of paying homage to Clemson's rich agricultural history while readying themselves for inevitable beachside living.

*While most Clemsonites scoff at yuppy "Yankees," they secretly yearn for the day when they can have beachside bonfires and go sailing in the haaah bohhhr.
**Light-turd is also known as turkey-sh*t brown.

#5 The Natural Beauty of Clemson

It's no secret that the Clemson area, located at the foot of the Appalachian Mountains, offers an abundance of natural beauty. Clemsonites have the opportunity to explore trails, parks, and even the gorgeous South Carolina Botanical Garden. But perhaps the most lovely place in town, and the place where you'll find the most Clemsonites jogging and walking is highway 93. With it's picturesque gas stations and plethora of grocery stores- not to mention the sweet sounds and smells of a constant flow of cars- it's easy to see why this stretch of road is so appealing to Clemsonites.

#4 Safety First

It's true, some people throw caution to the wind when wearing sunglasses. But most Clemsonites know that safety comes first. Because they'd rather be safe than sorry, Clemsonites protect their sunglasses from unwittingly being lost by attaching them to "croakies." Croakies are colorful neoprene eyewear retainers. These 1980's style accessories come in especially handy when Clemsonites are on the raging waters of Lake Hartwell, Lake Keowee, or the reflection pond in front of the library.* After all, a giant wave could materialize and slap those specs right off your face, where they would be lost forever to the Loch Hartwell Monster- making you the loser. And it's much better to look like loser than to be a loser, right?

*It's important to note that croakies are a "must have" for Clemsonites in other situations as well- like riding in the bed of a pick-up truck. Safety first. Always. At least for your sunglasses.

#3 Neck Protection

All true Clemsonites are tigers. So, it makes sense that younger Clemsonites are just baby tiger cubs, waiting for that moment when Momma Cat comes by and grabs them by the scruff of their neck. It is easy to spot young Clemsonites that are prepared for the coming of great Momma Cat by the neck protection they sport. The easiest and most convenient neck protection is the infamous "popped collar."

Haters of the popped collar abound, but these folks just don't understand that it's not a fashion statement, it's the mark of a dedicated baby tiger cub, waiting for the rapture of the Momma Cat to take them to a better place.* Or, at least a place with booze.
*Incidentally, the 'popped collar' also serves as a convenient way to hide whether or not the Clemsonite's neck is red.